I'm starting anew.... AGAIN!
I've restarted Weight Watchers. Being a lifetime member and at goal 7 years ago, it's hard to wrap my brain around the fact that I dropped the ball and regained all of my weight plus a bit more for good measure. So now, I'm starting further back then I did last time. Plus, I'm 7 years older, in peri-menopause and my psoriatic arthritis makes it unlikely that I'll be able to return to the same workout level that I was at then.
But, I'm doing it. I'm tracking every morsel. I wear an activity monitor to track my exercise. It's coming off.... very slowly.... .2 pounds at a time. Not 2 pounds at a time, but .2 pounds at a time. If my friend and co-Weight Watcher, Angie, didn't remind me that I'm going in the right direction, I probably may have thrown in the towel to a lost cause by now.
The only exercise that I seem to be able to do is walking and yoga. I've been going on-and-off to the same yoga instructor for years and she is great for me. I'm walking - between 1-4 miles a day.
A few months ago, I was asked to intervene for an abused dog who was rejected by foster homes and was going into a kill shelter. He was a large, but very underweight, full-of-anxiety, unruly dog. While my kneejerk reaction was to decline, my husband happened to be home from work that day and couldn't turn his back. So, we've been nursing him back to health. He's not underweight any longer and he has improved his leash skills by 100-fold (thanks to a head collar). I walk him twice a day - long walks. He still is somewhat unruly. He has the hyper-ness and anxiety of a tiny dog, but he's quite large. He is in incredible tune with my anxiety/stress level. So, I've learned to be much more even and measured. I saw a bumper sticker yesterday that said 'Who Rescued Who?' and I think that is really fitting our situation. I didn't want another dog (we already had 3). I definitely didn't want a large dog that needed SO much attention and training. But, here we are and in the process, I'm getting healthier.
My even and measured new way-of-life is being carried over in to other areas. I'm still involved with adoptee rights and I still absolutely believe EVERY person is entitled to their original, unadulterated birth certificate. But, thankfully the level of emotional anxiety over the cause has lowered. I will continue to work towards every citizen having the RIGHT to their own original birth certificate, but it's not predominate in my life.
I have been one of the lucky ones who found my truth. It has been a pretty crappy ride. I never anticipated the level of hatred and loathing that would be sent my way. I have never known anyone before with that level of hatred in their heart. But, even with all of the vileness, I still would take my ugly truth any day over a pretty lie.
